Sol Hymowitz was known to all as a man of great piety who never missed a daily minyan. He gave away his money, cared nothing for clothes, did not see to his own pleasures. He was the holiest and most modest of men.
One day his son Morty, a successful stockbroker, said, “Pop, you’re a wonderful man and you’ve never done a thing for yourself. Let me do something for you.” His father protested, but the son said, “Please. As a favor to me.”
So Sol relented. Morty took him to a fancy hairstylist, who gave him a splendid cut and gave his grey hair a brown tint. Then they went to Brooks Brothers, where Morty bought him a double-breasted blue jacket with a silk pocket square, boating shoes, and a captain’s hat. Morty then took him to the Wall Street boating slip and announced that his father was going to spend two hours at the helm of his own boat—a childhood dream come true. “I have a meeting, otherwise I would go with you,” Morty said.
Sol set sail. About an hour later, when the boat was in the ocean, a huge storm gathered. Waves crashed into the side of the boat. The boat caught fire. It slammed into a rock. Sol was thrown into the water. As he struggled to stay afloat, he looked up to the heavens. “God,” he said, “I have always tried to be a good man and have kept your commandments as best I could. What did I, Sol Hymowitz, do to deserve this?”
The heavens opened up and the voice of the Almighty boomed down: “To tell you the truth, Sol, I didn’t recognize you.”
The Pious Man and the Sea Joke
29 November 2014
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