The sequels that should never have been made

  18 March 2017    Read: 2062
The sequels that should never have been made
Gladiator is the latest film which might be receiving the sequel treatment.

The film, which was directed by Ridley Scott, won the best picture Oscar in 2000.

Before now, many of us thought a sequel was out of the question because Maximus Decimus Meridius, played by the film's star, Russell Crowe, you know, died at the end of the last one.

But by the sound of it, Scott's not going to let such minor details stand in his way.

"I know how to bring him back," he said at South by South West (SXSW) recently.

"Whether it will happen I don't know. Gladiator was 2000, so Russell's changed a little bit. He's doing something right now but I'm trying to get him back down here."

Sequels often make a lot of money at the box office - but aren't always a good idea creatively. Here are just a few of the real turkeys:

Sex And The City 2



Few bigger sequel disasters spring to mind than Sex and the City 2.

The franchise was hugely popular as a TV show, and fans responded well to the first big-screen adaptation.

But SATC2's release in 2010 saw even some of the most diehard fans turn against it.

The film still made money, but fans mostly hated it and the critics were even less enthusiastic.

"An enervated, crass and gruesomely caricatured trip to nowhere [that] seems conceived primarily to find new and more cynical ways to abuse the loyalty of its audience," said The Washington Post.

Speed 2: Cruise Control



Speed was, apart from being a terrific film, something of a surprise hit.
The critics loved it. Audiences loved it. A sequel was duly scheduled.

But 1997's Speed 2: Cruise Control fell at the first hurdle.

Although Sandra Bullock (pictured) came back for a second bite of the cherry, the film's other star, Keanu Reeves, didn't sign up.

Jason Patric took the reins instead and the sequel was given a much bigger budget than its predecessor.

But instead of the speeding buses and underground trains of the first, Speed 2 took place on... a slow-moving boat.

The slightly less exhilarating setting might have contributed to its eight Golden Raspberry nominations (it won in the worst remake or sequel category).

The Jaws sequels



Jaws 2's "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water" was one of the most memorable straplines in movie history.

Unfortunately, it also wasn't safe for fans of the first film to go back in the cinema.

While the original holds a 97% rating on reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the follow-up has a much lower 52%.

Its strapline turned out to be the most memorable thing about it - and has far outlived the film itself.

To be fair though, Jaws 2 performed well at the box office and wasn't as bad as what followed.

1983's Jaws 3-D and Jaws: The Revenge, which followed in 1987, were the franchise's real disasterpieces.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2



In 1999, The Blair Witch Project went viral long before going viral was even a thing.

The horror film used the internet to build a back story for the movie, posting fake police reports and fictional news articles about the Blair Witch, leaving many confused about whether the film was real or fictional.

The campaign succeeded in building huge levels of hype around the movie, which was a box office phenomenon.

You can guess what's coming next.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 abandoned the shaky first-person camera work in favour of becoming a more conventional horror film. It made a profit, but took about $200m (£161m) less than its predecessor.

Its threequel, 2016's Blair Witch, made even less money, but again it made a profit - which is more than a lot of films can say at the moment.

Zoolander 2



You could certainly argue that this one falls more into the Fifty Shakes Darker category.

Which is to say that a film perhaps shouldn't count as a bad sequel if the original film was pretty bad in the first place.

Sequels are the worst when you've built up high expectations from the first film, which is something 2001's Zoolander could hardly claimed to have done.

Cameos from Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry couldn't quite salvage the hot mess that was last year's Zoolander 2.

Interestingly, it was one of three sequels released in 2016 which left a huge gap between films.

It came 15 years after Zoolander, while My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 and Bad Santa 2 had gaps of 13 and 14 years respectively.

Honourable mentions


The Sequelizer, as it surely must be called, will be released in 2018

There are so many weakquels and threequels to choose from we couldn't possibly do them all justice here.

Indeed, this feature about sequels may need a sequel.

There's The Matrix Revolutions, Miss Congeniality 2, Legally Blonde 2, Blues Brothers 2000, Dumb and Dumberer and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Just for the pure brilliance of its title, a special mention also go to Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

If the next instalment of The Equalizer isn't called The Sequelizer (and, if there's a third, The Threequelizer) we're going to be bitterly disappointed.

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